30 10 / 2011
"If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you."
30 10 / 2011
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. -Hebrews 11:6
We have to believe that the Lord will do what he promises. If we call on him he WILL answer, if we seek him we WILL find him. If we knock the door WILL be opened, and if we ask we WILL receive.
I have struggled with this so much, I always feel that I can’t ask God, or that God doesn’t want to give me the desires of my heart. I believed that I was undeserving and that God didn’t want to give me anything, but I owed him everything. But God loves me a million times more than that. God wants to give me the world! He knows what is best for me, and knows that some things that I want could not be good for me, and that might be reason He withholds them, but He loves it when you ask! And we can CONFIDENTLY believe that he will give it to us until he says otherwise.
How do we humbly ask God for something? I used to think that it was something like this “Oh God, I want this, but I don’t need it, and I shouldn’t be asking for it, so forgive me Lord, Never mind God..” I have learned, that is not humility that was actually fear of rejection in my heart. I didn’t want to be disappointed in God if he didn’t provide. But God wants us and loves us enough where we can BOLDLY approach the throne and ask God for WHATEVER our hearts desire and we can even confidently believe he will provide. We just need to also believe that God’s timing is perfect and whatever it is we ask of Him, he will give it to us in his perfect timing.
When our hearts are right, the Lord hears our prayers and is faithful to answer, but we so often are insecure about our own hearts. That gives the enemy an advantage because he wants you to think you aren’t worthy, when the Lord has made you worthy so trust that your heart is right and ask with confidence! If its not right trust with confidence that God will reveal that to you! There is no condemnation in Christ, so if you feel bad for whatever you are asking, that is not the Lord telling you not to ask, that is the enemy who is trying to keep you from the fullness of God’s provision. We need to stop assuming our hearts are wrong, and walk with confidence that our hearts are right. The Holy Spirit will convict us and inform us if there is any evil way within us. When you pray for the Lord to change your heart and make it right, trust that he has already done it. Want a better car? Ask and trust that God will provide in his perfect timing. Whatever it is trust that God hears you and wants to give you your hearts desires no matter what they are. If your heart is wrong He will show you. Don’t assume your heart is wrong just because you want a better car since your transmission is acting up, and you don’t have air-conditioning, and you would like a newer car so you wouldn’t have to worry about that stuff. [<— that was my personal problem, haha ;)]
God will meet you, respond to you and give you the desires of your heart. What is it that you need?
29 10 / 2011
I have been having an amazing transforming experience throughout my participation at the Pasadena International House of Prayer internship. I have been recommending it over and over again because of the growth I have gotten from it. The main thing that I have learned in this experience is how much exactly God loves me, and that has changed my life.
I have always known that God the father loved me, I mean he sent his son to die for me, I knew I meant something to him, but what I could not understand is that I am enough for Him. He adores me, and there is NOTHING I could do to separate me from that love that has no boundaries. I like many other people, used to believe that I owed him my life. I obeyed him out of fear. I felt like I had to somehow, pay him back for what he did. I did not truly understand grace. How can a God give everything and expect nothing? I had to pay him back somehow.
Then the scales were removed from my eyes. God expects nothing out of me! WHAT?? You mean he knows I am going to fall short?? He knows that I cannot ever give him as much as he gave me?? And yet he says I am enough for him!??? This leaves me in AWE! It gives me a WHOLE new perspective on myself and on God, and helps me understand how the Father sees me! When the Bible says that there is NO CONDEMNATION in Christ Jesus It means it! God does not condemn for the bad, but REJOICES for the good!!! That means when you mess up God is not sitting up there thinking “Oh I guess Claudia doesn’t love me because she didn’t read her Bible today..” He is up there REJOICING over the fact that I acknowledge him!
Now this is not so say that I have developed this attitude that says “Oh I am enough for God so I don’t need to obey because He loves me as I am..” No, not at all, in fact finding this out about God has caused me to love him more than before! Our greatest desire as human beings is to be known and to be loved, and God does that for us! I love to spend time with him because he affirms me and encourages me. I don’t do it because I feel bad, or because I feel like I have to, but I just love him so much I want to! I love serving Him because I know how much he loves it. I love praising him because I know how much he rejoices over it!
Knowing this has also helped me understand how much God loves others. I love in the Bible how the two most greatest commands are to love the Lord your God with all of your heart, and then to love others, and the rest of the commandments would fall into line. But I even feel that the second command doesn’t even need to be stated. I believe that if you love God with all of your heart, mind, soul and strength, you learn who he is. he reveals himself to you allowing you to know how much he loves you, and once you learn that wonderful attribute of Him, you see others differently. Knowing how much God loves you shows you how much He loves others. I feel like God has brought me to a place where I love others because I am secure in his love for me and know that he loves them just as much. I used to serve others out of this pride and/or false humility thinking that either I was unworthy and had to help someone to feel good about myself, or that I was better and God needed me to show his love to these people. [God doesn’t need me, but he does give me the option to be a part of this amazing adventure.]
Also, knowing God’s love for you gives beauty a whole new meaning. That was another thing I also felt I knew but didn’t really know. God thinks I am drop dead gorgeous. He thinks I am so beautiful just the way I am. He thinks ANY guy would be LUCKY to have me. Yet, I would compare myself to other people… Why? God thinks that about each person on the planet, yet we compare ourselves to others. We have like created this definition of beauty and think that just because someone else may not see the beauty in everyone does not mean they define beauty. We each individually are fearfully and wonderfully made. We were not all on some factory line, God spent time on us, he formed us specifically. Just because you don’t think someone is attractive, does not identify them as not beautiful. And just because whoever is not attracted to you, does not mean you are not beautiful. You are, they just in their humanness and your humanness that blinds us all. Encountering the fullness of God’s love opens your eyes to see how beautiful people are. And believe me it is so much more freeing to not have to compare yourself to anyone.
I pray for you all. I seriously pray that you encounter God’s love in a deeper tangible way. That you understand where I am coming from. That you are encouraged in your walk, rather than constantly discouraged. I pray that the Lord pours out his grace and removes any spirit of condemnation so that you may know him to a full level. I pray that I was able to articulate through this mean a small bit of revelation in regards to the AMAZING love of our Father in Heaven.
29 10 / 2011
18 10 / 2010
"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption."
17 10 / 2010
Lately I have been called to do some humiliating things. Such as make amends, apologize to someone who hurt me, and just show God’s kindness to people that I honestly did not want to show any sort of kindness too. And any sort of pride I had in those situations, God COMPLETELY destroyed. I am thankful for the humility, but lets be real. Time and time I just want appriciation. I just want people to look at me and tell me “Good job Claudia, your doing the right thing.” I know its wrong to seek approval from man, but it feels good.
Through all of this I am learning allot about myself, but one thing is that its not hard for me to do the right thing, its had to do the right thing for the right reason. It’s so hard for me to just do something because I know it’s what God wants me to do. I want approval from others. I want to hear that I am good person. It’s not enough for me to just know that God approves.
The more I think about my problem, I wonder what I need to do to solve it. How can I make myself be filled and secure by God alone? Of course I find out, I CAN’T. I can’t force myself too be filled by the spirit, or expect God to just fulfill me. I have to ask him to fill me. And the days where I feel like I am definitely not going to make it I need to be on my knees begging for the spirit to fulfill me. The more down and insecure I feel, the more I need to search for security in Him. What I tend to do is just expect God to fill me. I will recognize my insecurity and just say “Ok God, you promised to fill me.. lets go..” Instead of seeeking God with all my heart. Jeremiah 29:13 says “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” God promises we will find him when we seek him with all of our hearts. The more insecurity I have the more I need to search for God to fulfill me.